Prevention and Education

Be smart with your online presence

Just because an online app or website asks for information about you does not mean you have to provide all of it. Before you “accept” the agreement, read it and understand what you are authorizing them to access about you.

Do you REALLY feel comfortable with the online world knowing:

• Your class schedule
• Your hometown or address
• Your phone number
• All of your email addresses/messenger names
• The names of your relatives

Your password

• Be smart when creating your password and NEVER share it.
• Create a special and unique password that includes numbers and symbols.
• Make sure the password does not include your name or numbers easily associated with you like your birth date.
• Change your password regularly.

Your privacy settings

• Take the time to review the privacy settings offered for any website or online community that you join.
• Make sure you understand what privacy settings you can control, what they mean and how to control them.
• The default setting for most privacy settings online is open and public—be careful!

Location, location, location

Many apps and website will ask for your location—but why is that and what is the risk with providing it? Listing your specific address can be risky—especially if it is viewable by anyone on the website. This can leave you open to identity thef lkers, unsolicited mailings, and more. Think about it before you post it!

Acquaintance or date rape means being forced or pressured into having sex by someone you know — against your will, without having your consent. It is a violation of your body and your trust. Rape is not about sex. It is an act of violence. No one asks to be raped. Rape is against the law.

Domestic violence involves acts of abuse against another person in order to gain power and control. Abusive acts can be verbal, emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual. The abuse can also involve threats and destruction of property.

Intimate partner violence refers to a pattern of behavior utilized by an individual to assert control and power over a former or current intimate partner, including current or former dating partner or spouse, and can be perpetrated by heterosexual or same-sex couples. This behavior includes physical violence, sexual assault, emotional, and psychological abuse. This type of behavior by students or employees (which is also known as dating, domestic, and relationship violence, battering or spousal abuse), violates the University’s policy and will not be tolerated. Anyone found in violation of said policy will be subject to severe disciplinary action which could include termination of employment, or for students, expulsion from the University.

Sexual assault is a crime of violence motivated by the need for power and control. Sexual assault is sexual contact or penetration against your will. It includes rape, same-sex assault, incest, and child sexual abuse. Sexual assault is never your fault.

Sexual harassment means “any unwelcome sexual advances or requests for sexual favors or any conduct of a sexual nature when (1) submission to such conduct is made either explicitly or implicitly a term or condition of an individual’s employment, grade, benefit or service; (2) submission or rejection of such conduct by an individual is used as the basis for employment, grading or other decisions affecting such individual; or (3) such conduct has the purpose or effect of substantially interfering with an individual’s work or academic performance or creating an intimidating, hostile or offensive working or learning environment.”

Examples of sexual harassment include, but are not limited to:

• Physical assaults of sexual nature, such as: (1) sexual assault, sexual battery, molestation, or attempts to commit these assaults; and (2) intentional physical conduct which is sexual in nature, such as patting, pinching, brushing against another’s body, etc.
• Unwanted sexual advances, propositions, or other sexual comments
• Sexual or discriminatory displays, publications, or other ritual material on university property

Sexting — as it is popularly referred to — is when one person sends a sexually explicit comment, photo, or communication to another through electronic means (texts, posts, blogs, online photos, email, etc.). It is becoming more and more commonplace every day, and while some may think it is harmless flirtation, it can have VERY real consequences.

• Thinking about sending a nude picture to your friend or significant other? Think again! You NEVER know who else might see it or — if something happens — who they might give it to. You THINK they are private, but you NEVER know for sure.
• NEVER take and/or send explicit pictures — or pictures in general — of others without their consent. Not only is it rude and disrespectful, it can also be against the law to do so.
• Do you really know the age of the person in the photo that someone sent you? You may THINK the person is of age, but if s/he is a minor you are participating in child pornography even if you did not take the photo yourself. Forwarding these messages is called “distributing” and keeping them for yourself is called “possession.” Both are serious crimes with very serious legal consequences!

Use your common sense. Private pictures and conversations are called ‘private’ for a reason. Why would they be shared with people others don’t know? And how would you feel if it happened to you?

See Key to UB for further definitions.

Stalking is one person’s harassing, obsessive, or threatening behavior towards another person. Any repetitive, unwanted contact between a stalker and a victim or any behavior that threatens or places fear in that person constitutes stalking. Although there is no universally accepted definition of cyber-stalking, the term is usually used to refer to the use of the Internet, e-mail, or other electronic communications devices to stalk another person. While some conduct involving annoying or menacing behavior might fall short of illegal stalking, such behavior may be a prelude to stalking and violence, and thus should be treated seriously. Trust your intuition.

Yes, absolutely! Getting involved can help prevent sexual assault in a culture that too often inadvertently supports it. By doing something very simple (read below), you could actually be preventing a lot of damage in people’s lives.

• Be aware of language and speak up if someone is putting others down.
• Share information that you know on sexual assault prevention.
• Offer to drive your friend(s) home from a party.
• Accompany your friends to parties.
• Remind your friends to hold their drink at all times. Make sure that they open and/or pour their own drinks.
• Sponsor programs on sexual assault awareness and prevention.

• Take one person aside and distract them .
• Distract the couple in order to diffuse the situation.
• Offer to call a cab so one person can leave.
• Knock on the door, or open the door, if you suspect a problem.
• Directly ask what is going on and is everything okay.
• Shout something to draw attention to the situation. For example, you can say ”Hey, what are you doing? Leave them alone!”

For most of us it does feel uncomfortable, and it does take courage to speak up and intervene. But all it takes is one person at a time to help stop the violence. You can make a difference in someone’s life.

It’s likely that you never thought sexual violence could happen to you, probably because we are socialized to see sexual assault, relationship violence, and stalking as crimes against women, not against men. Sexual violence is devastating to all victims, regardless of gender, and many reactions are shared by both male and female victims. You may feel rage, shame, guilt, powerlessness, helplessness, concern regarding your safety, and/or symptoms of physical illness.

However, there are special issues that may be different for you such as doubts about your sexuality or masculinity or reluctance to be examined for medical procedures. You may hesitate to report the sexual assault or act of sexual violence to law enforcement for fear of ridicule or fear that they won’t believe you. The same feelings apply to telling other people you know and to finding appropriate resources and support. This is true even if you experienced the incident when you were very young and only now are realizing you need help. You need to know that strong or weak; outgoing or withdrawn; gay, straight, or bisexual; old or young; whatever your physical appearance – you have done nothing that justifies this violence against you. At no point and under no circumstance does anyone have the right to violate or control another person. Sexually violent crimes are often embedded in issues of violence and power, not of lust or passion.

You may want to:

• Seek special support
• Call a crisis line anonymously and request a male counselor
• Request an older or male nurse to assist in treatment at the hospital
• Find a support group of male survivors to help you in your healing process

As a man, many factors or fears may influence your decision to report or not report to law enforcement. The advantages of reporting include:

• The assailant may be caught and brought to trial
• Your report may help protect others
• Collection of medical evidence will be paid for by the State’s Attorney’s Office
• You are eligible to apply for Victims of Violent Crimes Compensation

There are some disadvantages as well:

• You may be treated in an insensitive manner
• You may not be believed
• Prosecution is often unsuccessful

If you are gay or bisexual, you may feel that somehow you “brought this on” yourself. You may fear disclosure of your sexual orientation. You may fear for your safety or feel “survivor’s guilt” if you survived a hate crime. And you may know your assailant; she or he could be an acquaintance, a friend, a colleague, a date, a partner.

Feeling responsible is a normal reaction to sexual violence. However, sexual violence is never the responsibility of the survivor; you did nothing to deserve this. We encourage you to come forward and obtain the resources and support that you need.

Men Can Stop Rape seeks to mobilize men to use their strength for creating cultures free from violence, especially men’s violence against women. In 1997, the founders of Men Can Stop Rape pioneered a different way of addressing the epidemic of violence against women. Though the majority of violent acts against women are committed by men, the vast majority of prevention efforts are risk-reduction and self-defense tactics directed at women. The founders wanted to shift the responsibility of deterring harm away from women by promoting healthy, nonviolent masculinity. Their vision offered a plan for prevention that outlines positive, proactive solutions to engaging men as allies, inspiring them to feel motivated, and ending men’s violence against women.

White Ribbon is the world’s largest movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls, and promote gender equity, healthy relationships, and a new vision of masculinity. Starting in 1991, we asked men to wear white ribbons as a pledge to never commit, condone, or remain silent about violence against women and girls. Since then the White Ribbon Campaign has spread to over 60 countries around the world. They work to examine the root causes of gender-based violence and create a cultural shift that helps bring us to a future without violence. Their vision is for a masculinity that embodies the best qualities of being human. They believe that men are part of the solution and part of a future that is safe and equitable for all people. Through education, awareness-raising, outreach, technical assistance, capacity building, partnerships, and creative campaigns, White Ribbon is helping create tools, strategies, and models that challenge negative, outdated concepts of manhood and inspire men to understand and embrace the incredible potential they have to be a part of positive change.