becoming vulnerable in order to be understood

To Be Unbroken — A Spotlight on Trisha Bailey’s Story of Overcoming Trauma

This article is written by University of Bridgeport students as part of a series highlighting student voices called Purple Knights’ Perspectives.

By Abigail Giron Marroquin and Yemarah Dallas

A key to being understood is being vulnerable — to let others know the parts of ourselves we deny. Dr. Trisha Bailey takes this process of becoming vulnerable in order to be understood and to empower others with her book, Unbroken.

On Sept 14, 2023, Dr. Bailey honored University of Bridgeport (UB) with her presence and knowledge as she talked to Dr. Randy Laist, UB professor and the Chair of the English department, in front of an audience of students and professors alike.

In her book, Dr. Bailey recounts the struggles in her life and how they eventually made her who she is today — a resilient entrepreneur and the wealthiest Jamaican-born woman. To become successful, Dr. Bailey advises the audience, you must “keep your blinders on.” According to her, this means continuing on one’s own straight path.

During the hour-long conversation, Professor Laist asked Dr. Bailey about her life. She reflected that as a young girl she was tormented by her teachers and peers — teased for her accent and sprayed with aerosol sprays by her English teacher and peers. Despite the pain, Dr. Bailey says that experience is one of the reasons why her heart is loving. She finds it her responsibility to inject the youth with love and positivity so “that they can feel good, they can be empowered, and they can feel like they can literally fly.”

The positive influence of her track and field coach and mentor, coach Butterfield, helped Dr. Bailey push herself to become greater. He placed her in a race where she competed alongside a national champion on her first day of competition. Before that, she had only ever run in a casual setting. Dr. Bailey believes she was able to grow from having others believe in her. “Because of his foresight into seeing who I was as an athlete, I was able to develop and become a national champion competing at the Junior Olympics and junior nationals,” she reflects.

Dr. Bailey’s Advice for Young People

In light of her past toxic relationships and her current success, Dr. Laist asked what advice she had for young people, especially young women, who are attempting to navigate their own personal relationships. Dr. Bailey, who refers to herself as a ‘traumatized person,’ reflected that it is never the victim who chooses to remain in the situation, but rather the trauma that takes control over them. One of the primary reactions to trauma Dr. Bailey refers to is the need to be loved. This desire can lead a person to seek out people who give them even the slightest hint of what they believe to be love, even if the relationship is otherwise unhealthy or toxic. “When they say love is blind, it truly is,” said Dr. Bailey.
Dr. Bailey reminded us that she was once a person whose decisions were controlled by her trauma. To overcome this, she explained that she had been in talk therapy for over ten years, but what helped generate the most healing for herself was EMDR therapy. “What it does is melt those traumas, so you can truly make decisions for yourself,” she said. With EMDR therapy, Dr. Bailey says that she was able to reach the happiest point in her life.

When Dr. Laist asked why she wrote her book, Dr. Bailey told us that she began to write when she was young; it was an art form that let her escape the abuse she went through during childhood. She wrote poetry to express herself. She found it was the only way she could express herself. She stopped writing when the father of her first-born daughter destroyed all of her poems while she was in the hospital giving birth, taking up the practice again only when she met her ‘new love’ who encouraged her to write. Writing is now Dr. Bailey’s therapy.

With the release of her book, Dr. Bailey has recognized that many other people have experienced and are trying to cope with . When writing her book, she included stories of her struggles not to have people “only see the glory, but to see the struggles as well.” She did not realize that it would impact the lives of so many.

“I am so happy that I decided to disclose all the things that I did in my book because every person who has ever read it has told me how much it has inspired them,” said Bailey. “It has given them hope. It has given them the ability to overcome challenges.”

After the conversation, Lena, a graduate student in Clinical Mental Health Counseling, noted, “Dr. Bailey was beautifully vulnerable in everything she said. The best way to have people hear you with their heart and mind is to be vulnerable.” An English major, Gabby, agreed. “I can relate to certain points about navigating trauma and relationships,” she said.

Dr. Bailey’s vulnerability is a beacon for others who have undergone or are going through difficult phases in their lives. It empowers them to believe they can take control of their lives and make them their own.

Q and A with Dr. Trisha Bailey

Dr. Laist: Beginning with the very first chapter, Unbroken depicts numerous instances of domestic violence, rape, and abuse. For a book with such an uplifting message, the narrative never flinches from representing some of the most horrific and traumatizing experiences that a person can undergo. Why was it important to you to include these scenes in the book and to talk about these negative experiences so openly?

Dr. Bailey: I wanted to make sure everything I shared could be used to overcome any challenges you face. When you realize you’re not the only one, it’s much easier to continue moving forward. My life cannot be painted as this perfect rags-to-riches story without challenges. It’s not possible. There are always things to overcome. There are always obstacles in each step. My life is exactly like that. My purpose is to help every person I meet. There is nothing left out. So, now I have no secrets.

Dr. Laist: University of Bridgeport prides itself as an institution that offers opportunities for students who have immigrated to the U.S. from other countries, first-generation students, students who speak a first language other than English, and students whose high school education may not have fully prepared them for the rigors of college-level work. Many of these challenges parallel your own experiences as a first-year student at UConn. What advice do you have for students who are facing these kinds of challenges? How would you describe the mindset that has empowered you to succeed despite these challenges?

Dr. Bailey: Everything I do, I give it 110%. In high school, I used to tell myself whatever is worth having is worth working for. Take a step back, take a breather, and start strategizing how you need to change. You have to keep your blinders on. I have my goals and continue to strive toward my goals.

Dr. Laist: University of Bridgeport features a robust athletics department, including rapidly growing men’s and women’s programs in cross-country and indoor and outdoor track and field. In your book, running is more than a sport; it becomes a metaphor for the development of your individuality and a strategy for working through trauma. What was it about running that made such a huge impact on your life, and what advice do you have for student-athletes struggling to keep up with crowded and stressful schedules?

Dr. Bailey: I’ve always had a lot on my plate. During my last semester at the University of Connecticut, I was taking 20 credits per semester. I was running and working 20 hours a week. Everything that I do, I do it quickly. Track became a metaphor for my life. Everything you do, you must finish. If you start something, finish it. If you start a class, finish it. If you start a program, finish it. You must put your maximum effort into it.

Dr. Laist: In Chapter 6, you write about something that, you say, you “never admitted to anyone because I was ashamed of it” (page 106). After all of the extremely personal subjects you discuss in your book, it comes as a surprise to discover that this shameful secret was your struggle to achieve the required minimum score on the SAT. Of all the experiences you write about, why was this particular challenge that caused you to feel so ashamed?

Dr. Bailey: The writer of this book is one of my closest friends. He came over, and I told him, “I have a secret.” He said, “Your secrets are never secret.” So, I told him I was struggling to get the eight hundred score on the SAT. Most of the struggles you read in the book were external. This particular moment was internal… I could not do it. The University of Connecticut made exceptions so I could perform on the track team. Because they gave me my first chance at success, I wanted to show love through a donation.

Dr. Trisha Bailey’s book, Unbroken, offers a poignant narrative of resilience and perseverance that serves as a source of inspiration. Through her gripping story of overcoming adversity, she encourages you to view challenges as opportunities for personal growth and motivates you to persist in your educational pursuits despite obstacles.

At UB, we understand that your life before college doesn’t end when you step foot on campus. We offer comprehensive support services to help you adjust to life as a college student and succeed as you continue to accomplish goals and strive for new ones. At UB, #UBelong.

Yemarah Dallas ‘26 and Abigail Giron Marroquin ‘25 are majoring in English and Professional Writing.